AMA: From Selfish to Empathetic
“My daughter if a lovely child, but I feel like sometimes she is selfish. I don’t think she means it, but I would like her to be more aware of other people’s needs and feelings. What is the best way to do it?”
Children can get very busy in their own world, and most of the time they don’t mean to be “selfish”. They are just too preoccupied with the ideas going through their minds that they “forget” that their behaviours might affect others.
Here are 3 simple ways to teach your child empathy.
1. Empathise with your child and model empathy for others.
Children learn empathy both from watching us and from experiencing our empathy for them. When we empathise with our children, they develop trusting, secure attachments with us.
Empathising with our children takes many forms, including tuning in to their physical and emotional needs, understanding and respecting their individual personalities, taking a genuine interest in their lives, and guiding them toward activities that reflect an understanding of the kind of people they are and the things they enjoy.
Children also learn empathy by watching those we notice and appreciate. They’ll notice if we treat a server in a restaurant or the postman with respect or if we welcome a new family to the school.
2. Make caring for others a priority.
If children are to value others’ perspectives and show compassion for them, it’s very important that they hear from their parents that caring about others is a top priority and that it is just as important as their own happiness.
3. Help children develop self-control and manage feelings effectively.
Often when children don’t express empathy, it’s not because they don’t have it. It’s because some feeling or image is blocking their empathy. Often the ability to care for others is overwhelmed, for example, by anger, shame, envy, or other negative feelings.
Helping children manage these negative feelings is often what “releases” their empathy.
The Superpower Kids MY BEHAVIOURS AFFECT OTHERS Printable can help your child understand the outcomes of their behaviours.
